Heading for disaster? Rediscovering parenting
A peaceful family photo; who would think that as a parent I have been struggling with guilt.
Yes, I feel that my child has too much power, that he is digitally distracted, that he is growing up with an endless stimulation, constant gratification, and absence of boredom.
I am to blame for that together with the society setting the standards up for disaster.
Furthermore, as painful as it can be to admit, in many cases, WE, parents, are the answer to many of our kids’ struggles! Yes, kids are more likely to be unhappy nowadays, and so are the parents!
Is it too late? Are we doomed together with our children?
NO
Our children pay for the loss of well-balanced childhood with their emotional well-being.
But it is not too late!
I am ready to change - are you?
Today’s children are being deprived of the fundamentals of a healthy childhood, such as:
Emotionally available parents
Clearly defined limits and guidance
Responsibilities
Balanced nutrition and adequate sleep
Movement and outdoors
Creative play, social interaction, opportunities for unstructured times and boredom
Instead, children are being served with:
Digitally distracted parents
Indulgent parents who let kids “Rule the world”
Sense of entitlement rather than responsibility
Inadequate sleep and unbalanced nutrition
Sedentary indoor lifestyle
Endless stimulation, technological babysitters, instant gratification
We can change all that, or some of it.
We can Set limits and remember that you are your child’s PARENT, not a friend
Offer kids well-balanced lifestyle filled with what kids NEED, not just what they WANT. Don’t be afraid to say “No!” to your kids if what they want is not what they need.
We can Provide nutritious food and limits snacks.
We can Spend one hour a day in green space: biking, hiking, fishing, watching birds/insects
We can Teach responsibility and independence. Don’t over-protect them from small failures.
We can Have a daily technology-free family dinner.
We can Involve your child in one chore a day (folding laundry, tidying up toys, hanging clothes, unpacking groceries, setting the table etc).
Being a parent has never been easy, however in today's world with all the distractions, it has become impossible not to fall into a trap.
Therefore setting limits and saying no sometimes is the first step to a healthy parenting.
For many parents, it’s easier to give in than to deal with their child’s negative reaction or their own feelings of guilt, resentment, anger, or general discomfort.
At the end, there is never right or wrong, there is no black and white when it comes to parenting. It is the most subjective and self taught profession ever.
I will continue making mistakes as a parent, that is for sure. However, nobody knows my family values and my child more than I do and I can only hope and pray that the next decision I make in regards to my child will be for his own good and perhaps one day he might even thank me for it.
Dorota Xeller