Blissful Transitions

Sammy is two.

He is happily going down the slide when mom comes over saying “Let’s go, it’s nap time”! Sammy starts kicking and screaming “I don’t want to go, I don’t want to take a nap, I’m not tired”, he whines as he rubs his eyes and begins twirling his hair.

Anybody wondering what is going on inside Sammy’s brain?

Does mom have a plan B?

Sammy is instantly traumatized!!! Leaving the favourite slide in the park for any toddler is like getting a one way ticket to Kiev’s (Independence Square) Площадь независимости.

Toddlers brains develop quite rapidly. Neurons launch their busy construction and an assembly process begins repeating itself a million times. Ultimately, the brain cells create far more connections than the brain will actually need.

If well supported by parents and caregivers, transitions can gradually become a positive

experience that will strengthen a child’s confidence and the capacity to be resilient in the

process of dealing with change.

How can you make the transitions a bit easier?

Here are few hints and strategies.

 Realistic expectations

If you see that the toddler is tired and ready for a nap, try to pick your battles and not make him or her clean up the 102 blocks that he or she has been building with for the last hour. The results might be disappointing and causing an unnecessary frustration on both sides.

Instead, try saying “Sammy, would you like to pick up triangles or rectangles? And please

tell mommy which ones she can pick up in order to help”. At the end, there might still be a pile of blocks on the floor, however, you can just happily address and recognize what a

great helper Sammy is focusing on the positive.

 Transitional song, or phrase

“Clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere”, is what we usually hear in a daycare setting. If you are not cleaning up, or simply do not like singing, there are other ways.

“Saaaaaaaaaammmmyyyy!!!, stretching each syllable in a funny way, using either a deep or a squeaky voice. Sammy pokes his head up looking with his big eyes and thinking “What was that sound”? This way you get his attention and try redirecting him to a new activity.

“Race you to the kitchen for lunch? Mommy is going to beat you this time”.

 Transitional objects

If on the go, it is good to have a little backpack filled with transitional objects: a favourite

teddy bear, crayons, sippy cup, or a book. Sometimes you can also let the child bring

something “special” home with him or her. For example if on the beach, you can both

collect few shells or pebbles to take home.

 Time warning

“Sammy we are leaving in 10 minutes” may not be a precise warning. In Sammy’s head the time idea is more abstract than in adults.

Few minutes warnings work much better, and the last reminder with clear expectations is almost a guaranteed success:

“Sammy, it is almost time to go home for lunch, which means we have time to make two

more mud pies”. If Sammy starts negotiating, give him a choice: ”Would you like to make

one or two mud pies, Sammy”? Make sure you always enter the negotiations with the lower number, otherwise, you may end up in the sand box till dinnertime.

You can also finish up a playtime with an enthusiastic countdown together with your child to make it fun and encouraging:

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and blast off quickly to the car.

 Closure

As it is always in the music class a goodbye song may work best to end the event:

“Goodbye beach, goodbye, sand, goodbye water, we will see you next time”.

Goodbye and Good luck!

Twinkletoes Music Dorota Xeller